Only two weeks to Gowerbury and I have to find something funny to say for 5 mins. How on earth am I going to do that? I have had ideas about designing the tee shirt but as for being funny, well, for a start I can never remember the punch line of a joke, this proves very frustrating, surprisingly not for the people listening because my rendition is so boring they lose interest and their eyes start wandering but for me, I would really like to know how it ends!
Usually at this time we are all looking forward to the Glastonbury Festival, it is the highlight of our year, of course they don't run it every four years to rest the fields and the ears of the local people. Hence our idea of a Gowerbury! Will it be as good as the real thing though? It has all the ingredients, well, the main ingredient being family acting daft. But Glastonbury does have the added attraction of raw talent mixed with an amazing atmosphere of 'love' how can I explain it, it is as if everyone sheds their shackles and becomes one. They leave behind the worries of work and class system and sit in muddy fields chilling out to excellent music drinking all sorts of concoctions.
We have been going for over 10 years and have experienced some of the most wonderful times. If you asked any one of us to give up our summer holiday for Glastonbury I am sure the united answer would be 'yes' Remember this is a place where the toilets stink to high heaven and to get a wash you have to queue in the nude for awhile (well, you used to have to) If they could bottle the secret essence of Glastonbury they would make a fortune.
There is something about standing on the hill watching Rolph Harris singing 'Digeree Do' with two gigantic kangaroos jumping around in the crowd that just can't be matched anywhere in the world. He had the audience in the palm of his hand.
The mud! I would have thought that I would have run a mile from the dirty sticky stuff, but believe it or not it becomes essential. Glastonbury without the mud wouldn't seem the same.
The mobile phone has ruined it for me as in the old days if you lost someone you would have to make new friends as you would be on your own for the rest of the day, now, everyone walks around with them clamped to their ears, I think they should be banned I really do. The security there is mega tight, when I met up with people years ago I would find out that I was the only fool to pay for the ticket. I can honestly say most people just got in over the fence, they would make fun of the fact that I had bought my ticket.
The result is a lot of very interesting people can't get in anymore so there has been a change to the Glastonbury dynamics, Glastonbury argue it keeps out the undesirables but I used to find them very desirable and funny. Children can get in free up to a certain age. If you knew the trouble we went to, to make them look shorter and younger than they really were.. I think we had to give up and buy them a ticket when they reached 16 and we couldn't take the chance that they would be spotted. I can remember my heart pounding on many an occasion at the gate.
If the weather is like this in two weeks we will be laughing and we will have clean toilets and showers but if there is anyone out there with any ideas of being funny I would be ever so appreciative if you would drop me a line, maybe I should wear a mask and buy a huge cigar.